am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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