then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Randomize
