Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
If I die, sorry about rent.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
