I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
