we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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