just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
