im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
