i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
