do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
