He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
