Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
