There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
