If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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