You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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