how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
