Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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