I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
