took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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