Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Randomize
