I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Randomize
