Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
