And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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