dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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