spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
