I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
