the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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