She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
