Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
