Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
