doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I can tuck mytits in my pants
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
