well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
