Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
