That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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