He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
