after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
