Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
