The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
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