so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
