He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
