So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
