what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
