Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Randomize
