so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
