I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
