my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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