you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Im part way to drunk.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
