Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
