I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
