Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
