my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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