What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
