Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Randomize
