I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
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